Last week's penultimate episode of Game of Thrones left us in so much shock and awe that people had to film their hilarious reactions to the final minutes.
With the jaw dropping moments shaking both book fans and viewers alike, I was almost afraid of what was going to happen in tonight's finale. Whatever the damage was, I welcomed it; I welcomed it so bad it hurts.
Tonight, Joffrey pisses off Tywin, Bran is telling ghost stories and Dany will be put to the test to see if she is going to conquer or liberate the enslaved.
We are still at the fallout of the Red Wedding when the episode begins. The flags of the Starks are being burned and fire & rampage are present.
In the midst of the chaos, The Hound and Arya ride on. Arya, who was knocked out last episode by The Hound and was trying to save her, wakes up just in time to see the people making fun of Rob.
as Arya and The Hound ride off...man she is going to be one fucked up, awesome woman.
Next up, we have Sansa and Tyrion who have an adorable conversation about people who make fun of them and how to get them back.
They have a great rapport that is interrupted by Tyrion's shit head father Tywin.
Joffrey reveals that Rob is dead and wants to torture Sansa with the news. Tyrion will have none of it, of course. Joffrey starts behaving like a baby and calls Tyrion a monster.
Tyrion devilishly points out kings are falling like flies and Joffrey starts whining some more. Oh shut your face gash Joffrey and go to bed!
By the way that's exactly what Tywin does: he sends Joffrey away. Tyrion predicts correctly that Tywin planned the whole Red Wedding and Tyrion tells him the north won't forget. Tywin is stupid enough to think this is a good thing. You're gonna die Tywin!
He also wants Tyrion to have sex with Sansa and make a son, whether she wants it or not. In addition, he goes on to tell Tyrion he almost killed him as a baby; this is what people want to hear Tywin!
What a gross man he is. I swear he and Fray need to have a contest on who sucks more; it would probably be a draw. Meanwhile after all this frightful news, Tyrion heads back to find a broken Sansa in tears.
Bran and his gang of misfits are camping, (they do that a lot) as Bran tells them a ghost story about a cook and the punishment he received from the Gods.
The Gods need to unleash their wrath on a lot of people on this show.
In other parts, Frey and Bolton are discussing their handy work at the Red Wedding and Bolton is just gushing about how awesome his bastard Ramsay is at being an evil person. I have to agree him with because Iwan Rheon is kicking ass as Ramsay.
Ramsay eats sausage while talking about Theon's sausage in front of Theon. Theon BEGS Ramsay to kill him, but he's not having it. Also, this scene where he is torturing him is very homoerotic (slashers commence).
Soon after, he makes Theon call himself The Reek (Hi, book fans!).
Back to Bran and his Mötley Crew, who meet up with another Mötley Crew AKA Gilly and Sam. Sam gushes all over Bran because he loves Jon so much while Ghost makes a comeback!
Hi, Ghost! They talk about the white walkers and the army of the dead, and how scary it is to go north. Sam dispenses his wisdom upon Bran and Bran takes off.
Ramsay sends Theon's "toy" to his family with the message that they need to bounce ASAP. His father thinks he's an ass and his sister is like "WTF, dad?!"
And she is going to find Ramsay and Theon and kick some ass.
Gendry is hanging out with the Onion Knight where Gendry is being held captive. They bond a bit because they come from the same place, even though Gendry is still skeptical.
Most of what I'm getting is that Gendry was a virgin and Melisandre fucked him over in every way. I do love this bond that they are developing. Onion Knight is so nice though.
Shay is moping about Tyrion marrying Sansa. Blah blah STFU. Farris gives her diamonds to GTFO and I hope she takes it. But she doesn't.
Cersei comes in to talk to Tyrion and...is it me or has she been especially boring this season? Maybe it's just me.
She tries to tell Tyrion that Sansa would be happy with a child and Tyrion blatantly points out that Cersei isn't happy. They talk about how evil Joffrey is but wasn't before.
Arya and The Hound meet up with the people that killed her family. Arya doesn't what we all knew she was bound to do and stabs one of the men.
The Hound is right behind her to protect her. He asks her if this is her first kill, to which she confirms, but it's clear it will not her last. She picks up her coin and whispers "valar marghulis" Fuck yes Arya?!
Jon is off taking care of himself after a bird nearly chopped his head off, then another bird in the form of Ygritte shows up and shoots him with arrows even after he declared his love for her.
Whoops?! But Jon was a shit head for leaving her behind.
Sam and Gilly finally make it back to HQ. Woo!
The next scene includes The Onion Knight trying to read and failing. He is so cute. Melisandre and Stannis are celebrating their win with Robs death.
Everyone wants to take credit for this red wedding, in the end I fear they all will pay. They are ready to kill poor Gendry, but The Onion Knight saves him and tells him to go to Kingslanding and get away from Melisandre.
Gendry is so cute, he can't swim or operate a boat but he's trying! Save yourself Gendry!
Jon finally makes it back home! Welcome back Lord Snow!
Jaime and Brienne make a final season appearance; I can't deal with how cute their bromance is.
Jaime gets called a country boy and Brienne just smiles. On the contrary Cersei sees Jaime again and is grossed out by his hand.
The Onion Knight warns Melisandre and her bitch about what is beyond the wall, but they are such idiots.
Melisandre tells her lap down that he is the only one who can stop it which is false, obviously. Ugh. People on this show sometimes, I just want to shake them all.
Dany is off to meet the people she "liberated" but she feels that she might have conquered them, which is not what she wanted to do. She worries that people learn to love their chains.
She tells them that their freedom is there's and they call her their mother. They love her and they want to help her. These people just represent fandom in response to Danny, don't they?
The people lift Danny and shout mother at her, and I'm pretty certain I am not the only one who has chills right now?
We end the season with an arial shot of Dany and her dragons flying over her.
Everyone is trying to get to the throne by fighting wars and being brutal, where as Dany is winning the love of the people. She is the true queen.
I'm dying here, I swear. What a season. What an episode. Until next year guys.
by TooBadDiane
